MY FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS
The Beginning of a Strange Path
From the outset, there is confusion — lots of it — and anxiety, worry, withdrawal, and loss of interest in hobbies. Family and friends now seem boring and irksomely genial. It gets scary, you get anxious, and then, it gets even scarier.
Mental disorders usually make their first appearance during childhood or adolescence, although most people don’t treat them until a number of years later. The symptoms of a mental health condition may make manifest while the individual still maintains the ability to function in school, at home, or at work—however, this maintenance of function may not be as easy as it was before the inception of the symptoms. Every so often, there is a reminder by that loud, soundless voice that something is just not right.
Bolatito
My life was on its tip, and the 21st of March, 2021 was the day it finally tilted and fell on its side.
2021 wasn’t the best of years for me. I can still vividly recall how my health deteriorated in the first few months of the year — from the sudden mood changes and the episodes of crying to the loss of interest in all things and the suicidal ideations. Luckily, I told some friends, and they encouraged me to go to the school clinic for proper care.
To fulfill all righteousness, I went to the clinic and was diagnosed with "bipolar disorder" by the attending doctor, who happened to be a psychiatrist. The diagnosis put my mind at ease. Yes, I know — why would I be relieved to know I had a mental illness? Well, because it defined the weird and grotesque image I had become. It was a validation of my aberrant behavior. It had a name, yay!
I understood myself better, but I was also skeptical, and it took me a while to adjust to this new reality of using drugs, attending clinics, and undergoing behavioral therapy. It was a slow process — the medications didn’t show immediate effects — and when I complained, I was informed to wait for at least six (6) weeks. Although it took longer than anticipated, I eventually started feeling better.
After my diagnosis, I became more aware of mental illnesses, exposing myself to information about my diagnosis and other mental health conditions. The journey hasn’t been easy, and relapse is terrifying, but knowing my diagnosis can be managed and that I’m not alone has made me feel less scared.
Adaeze
Loneliness was the peak of my depression. I was not alone, but I was lonely. I would rather lie on my bed and stare into space than be with people who were concerned about me. I knew I needed to talk to someone, but there was nothing to say. I couldn't think of the cause of my state. I couldn't cry outside or share my feelings with others. I couldn't afford to look weak. A whole Adaeze, no way. But it was soon getting obvious. My friends started coming around, showing love in every possible way. I couldn't read love. It was a time of solitude for me.
One day, after five days of staying in the room without coming out or talking to anyone at home, my siblings persuaded me to visit the hospital on account of my weight loss and poor appetite. Lol, I saw a psychiatrist instead. It was my uncle, the ever-sweet Uncle Obinna, so I couldn't refuse. That day, I went through a psychological evaluation. My sister and best friends gave all the history because I couldn’t give out the information myself, and I was observed for a while before the clinical diagnosis.
Hearing the diagnosis caused another breakdown for me. It was a life I was used to, and I didn't want to stop. I was angry because I thought, “Everyone gets depressed at some point in their life; why was mine a concern? Why do I have to use medications? Why do I have to be observed for suicidal tendencies, like a psychopath? It's my life, and I can get out if I want to!"
DON'T.
Mental illness is like a viral infestation — foreign, invades our system, causing chaos in our lives — and without the proper antibodies to mount a defence against it, it will prevail. If you or your loved ones exhibit these signs and symptoms of a mental health condition, a mental health professional should be consulted. It doesn't hurt, you know. Have an open and honest discussion with trusted friends and family. You can also help a loved one get help; it worsens if ignored.
Warning signs of mental illness
- Excessive worry, anxiety, and fear
- Sadness and low energy
- Problems concentrating, thinking, and learning
- Extreme mood changes
- Prolonged and strong feelings of irritability or anger
- Avoiding loved ones and social activities
- Difficulties understanding or relating to other people
- Changes in eating habits, sleeping habits, and sex drive
- Overusing substances like alcohol or drugs
- Thinking about suicide
- Uncontrollable feelings of euphoria
There are countless ways to cope with and treat these symptoms and conditions. If you feel like any of this may apply to you, I encourage you to reach out to the ASIDO helpline at 0902 8080 416.
Ifeoluwa Bolaji is a second-year medical student at the University of Ibadan. A passionate Christian and graphic designer, she has a great interest in research, mental health development, and helping children. She is also a great lover of spaghetti.
References
- Chato Stewart. (2015). Stages of Mental Health Conditions (Part I). Charlotte CBHC Behavioral Health Care. https://www.cbhcfl.org/stages-mental-health-conditions/
- 7 Signs of a Mental Health Condition — ThinkHealth. (n.d.). Retrieved September 18, 2022, from https://thinkhealth.priorityhealth.com/7-tell-tale-signs-of-a-mental-health-condition/
